I haven't been on here for a while because I have had a lot of things going on in my life recently.
I'm not sure if you remember me saying that food kept getting stuck in my throat and I had to make myself sick to get it back up again which meant that I wasn't really keeping any food down and resulted in a few weeks of sudden weight loss?
Well, I went for some tests at the hospital and last week an endoscopy showed a growth in my oesophagus which could turn out to be cancer, yup those words were said to little 27 year old me and they hit me very hard. They took biopsies of the growth to study in the lab (I'm praying its a benign growth)
This seems to have stunned even my doctor as this type of thing is often found in smoking, alcohol drinking, 60+ year old men and here I am sitting here a reasonably fit, healthy eating 27 year old woman - it just doesn't add up but apparently this is the road I will be travelling down.
Several extremely hard phone calls to my parents and brother were next which hurt me more than actually getting the news. What parent wants to hear that your child could be desperately ill?!
I then went for a full body CT scan on Friday to see if the cancer (I'm calling it that at the moment although it's still not been confirmed) has spread to anywhere else in my body and the actual size of the growth in my throat as this will indicate whether or not I can have treatment / surgery and if I can what kind it will be.
So at the moment I'm in the grey area of my life waiting until Wednesday (only two more days to go and I'm not sure how I made it through the past week!!) when I, plus my boyfriend and Mum who is travelling up specially, go to see my specialist and I'll hear if this thing is cancer or not.
So as you can probably understand, the maintenance of my blog has been quite far down on my list of priorities at the moment but as I seemed to have a handful of readers I thought it would be good to give you a quick update of what I'm up to.
My blog will now change it's focus on keeping weight on / putting on weight in preparation for any treatment / surgery I may need (gosh I never thought I'd hear myself saying I'm trying to put weight on!!) and just being a way of telling my story and all that I'm going through at the time.
I hope all those on the Marathon Weight Loss Challenge have done well on their final weigh ins and if you could send me a little bit of wishful thinking my way then I'd really appreciate it!!
Today has been good so far - Paul stayed over last night so I woke up snuggled up to him, work have all been amazing when they heard my news offering me time off from work whenever / work from home opportunities, I kept my lunch down and have managed a chocolate bar (I've been told by my nurse to have full fat everything) plus my dried fruit and green tea (apparently that can inhibit cancer growth - it's all worth a try isn't it?!) and I've found an amazing website with a brilliant group of people who have all been through this and come out the other side so for the first time in about a week the black cloud above me has turned a lighter shade of grey and I'm going to my first improvers ballet class tonight because I finished my beginners course last week and the teacher said she thought I was good enough to move on!!
Also I'm going to be busy cleaning the flat tonight because (under slightly horrid circumstances I know) tomorrow night I get to cuddle my Mum!!
Have a great day, make the most out of it and in the words of another amazing blogger (found here) Do Today Well